Monday, March 31, 2008

the taste of ear

When a thirty something fully gown man decides to pierce his ear, and systematically enlarge said piercing with progressive larger rings, you're bound to have friends who will try to stick common everyday objects into said hole.

It's a thing we do. Some guys exercise restraint, resorting to their imagination and let that be enough to sate their curiosity.

Some people act on their impulses.

Guess what kind of friends Brian here has?

Before anyone comments on vaginal fixation, remember that some men would plug a leaking dam with their finger, some men go spelunking, I stick cigarettes in ear holes.

Notice filter end went in. This renders the cigarette unsmokeable as no sane member of the male gender would willing put their tongue inside a ear hole, much less wrap our lips around a cigarette that's been in an ear hole.

No, it takes a special kind of man to do such a deed. The special kind that didn't know where the cigarette has been.
The very special man was pictured, ready to take a punch when the photo was taken, after the big reveal.

Dave was a true hero. He put his man lips around the butt end of the ear hole cigarette and sucked with vigor as I put a flame to his face. The enthusiasm rivals any meth addled hobo around the streets of Portland. A true artist.

Of course, Dave eagerness went dim right fast when the entire bar exhilarated with laughter. The restraint up until the point of first inhalation of ear hole smoke was too much, and Dave, being no fool, realized he's wrapped his mouth around the wrong pole.

So in the end, the cigarette was lit, puff on twice, and went undesired in the ash tray. I had thought about recycling it when my pack ran out, but I had just enough money to go across the street and buy a new pack.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

cute! Mitch just told me the story.
Have a good trip in China. See you later. -Mei

11:52 PM  

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