the chinese that don't speak chinese...in china

Somehow I just remembered this...

I was staying in the Beijing Grand Hyatt not too long ago. I went to the front desk with the intent to leave a message to an arriving guest that I'm expecting to contact me.

Me at the desk, finding the first Chinese looking Grand Hyatt concierge. He stood about 6 feet, spiky hair, mid-twenties, and quite Chinese. By quite Chinese I mean not white, not black, and no traces of Japanese, Korean, or other minor Asian races.

I said, in Chinese, "Hi, I'm expecting a guest to arrive and I would like to leave him a message."


The guy look momentarily unfocused. Caught himself. And said, in perfect English, without accent, "Umm... I'm sorry sir, I don't speak Chinese."

"Oh well, then." Replied I in native English, "I'm expecting a guest to arrive and I would like to leave him a message."

It was amusing. You had to be there...