Monday, August 14, 2006

swimming in a cocktail of urine

Went out with the guys on Saturday. We were supposed to go to pi-rem, some kind of artsy gallery bar type of place that was sure to have expensive imported booze. Being frugal and having just spent a great portion of our life savings for our recently acquired master degrees, we all decided to hit Shanghai Tunnel for some $2 PBRs.

$2 for a 20 oz. can of Pabst. Can't go wrong with that.

We got talking about the labels while drinking way too much of the stuff. According to the label, Pabst was established in the early 1800's. For 30 or so years, they won no awards. Sometimes in the 1850's they won a blue ribbon and was voted as "America's best beer". This during a time where there were no microbrews, no Bud, Miller, or Coors. Competition is, well, thin. They have been touting the blue ribbon ever since.

But who the hell give out blue ribbons for winning? Last I checked, national competition for food and beaverage is a 6 foot check and a 4 foot trophy. What county fair did Pabst get their Blue Ribbon? Last ribbon I got was for the 400 meter dash in elementary school.

That said, we still drank the PBR despite other beers available. Drinking, of course, yield the side effect of peeing. Shanghai Tunnel has one bathroom each for those with a protruding genitalia and for those without.

The one that I frequent is backed up. The bowl collects more than it is able to drain. There was a line and Oscar was in front of me. The last person leaves, and Oscar does his thing. He opens the door and I enter, adding urine on top of urine.

As I came out, Oscar was talking to someone in line.

"Hey Oscar, I just had a though while peeing." Said I.

"Shit." Replied Oscar.

"I was just thinking. I had sex earlier, and there are some residual sperm in my urinary tract. As I peed into the toilet, my little spermies are swimming around in a soupy cocktail of our collective urine."


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