Wednesday, July 26, 2006

panda express

Chengdu, as with all of China, is hot in the summer. It's something like 34 degrees celcius, or 94 degrees fahrenheit, with 100% humidity. The sun blazes mercilessly from above and without air coniditioning, only idiot tourists would want to walk around up and own hill to see ovresized black and white racoons.

Which is exactly what we did.

The mission - take a cab to the Chengdu Panda Reserve, beeline to the panda enclosure, take some pictures, then jump back onto the air conditioned cab and be back in the hotel.

On the way, the cabbie told me that two years ago a worker was caught killing a panda. He ate the meat with his friends and tried to sell the fur in the black market. Given that in China, if you kill someone via vehicular manslaughter you are only require to pay $800,000RMB (US$100,000), the Panda is worth far more than a mere human life at well more than US millions of dollars each. That guy didn't live very long after being caught.

I wonder what Panda meat tastes like?

They are cuddly aminals. Their habitat is air conditioned. Where I was standing, I can only look upon the panda with envy. My shirt is soaked with seat. I knew it would be hot, so after I applied my antiperspirant under my arms, I also gave it a good go around on my neck, chest, and between the thighs. There is nothing worse than walking around with ballsacks slimy with sweat. It's like women walking around on their periods without a tampond or pads.

Hmmm... I wondered in such hot occations, I should just have lined my pants with pads... Maybe that's a new market. Adult crotch sweat absorbing underwear. I should look into that...

Workers were hauling in block of ice, which the pandas eagerly hopped onboard.

With somewhere between 1000 and 2000 of these animals left, they are the national treasure of China. Upkeep of one of these animals top over a milliion US dollars. There goes my wish to keep one as a pet.

Of course, breeding giant panda's isn't easy I hear. The ones China lent to the US didn't breed for years. There were some joke about the Chinese giving us gay pandas.

I didn't get to see how they do it, but here is picture prominently displayed in the Panda Reserver on the Panda Style of Kama Sutra.

It's like doggie stye, only bigger. And in black and white.

They also do artificial insemination. And for that I have two action photos.

The pic to the left is my finger, being used as a forecep in the aide of inseminating the giant panda, thus ensureing continued breeding.

The pic to the right is that same finger going into Jane's mouth for disinfecting. She has a mouthful of BaiJu (100 proof Chinese liquor).

When I was on the internet, I read that you can hold the panda cubs and take pictures for RMB 400, or 50 bucks. When I got to Chengdu, I was told this price has gone up. It's now RMB 800, or US $100. When I got to the room where you can actually hold the panda cub, I was informed this price is now RMB 1200, or US $150.

Now I can't help but wonder if the price wasn't inflated because I was with gringos. I'm sure I'd get a "looking Chinese discount".

Whee... It's nice to be blessed with A/C.


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