Wednesday, June 28, 2006

midnight viewing of superman returns

Call me a nerd...okay, Oscar did already. But I donned by blue Superman t-shirt and went to the midnight showing of Superman Returns.

It's like Titanic, only without the whinning presence of Leonardo DiCaprio and much more flying.

Superman take a bullet from a Vulcan cannon, like those found on attack helicopters, right in the eyeball. The pictures shows what happens. It pretty much deforms from the hydrashock and flattens to a metal pancake, then falls to the ground. The whole sequence is incredible.

The movies starts with Clark Kent, Superman, returning from a 5 year visit to the debris of Kypton, his homeworld. He goes back to his job at the Daily Planet only only to find the love of his life, Lois Lane, has a child of about 5 years old and is shacked up with another guy. During this time Sups saves lives, puts out fire, and generally does everything with great CG effect and style.

In comes Lex Luthor. He has gotten out of prison from a technicality - the defense called Superman, and since he is in outer space, Lex gets out of jail free. He appearantly seduced a very wealthy elderly woman named Gertrude in the manner of Anna Nicole Smith. "You gave me pleasure that I have never dreamed of..." said Gertrude as she lay dying, her 98 year old shrivled hand tightly grasping Luthor's. That scene made me throw up through my clamped teeth. Now Lex is going to use all this money he inherited to fund a Superman killing agenda.

Lex goes to Antarctica, where Superman's Fortress of Solitude resides. He finds the Kryptonian crystals which has the ability to grow into continents, building, weapons, and hold knowledge from 28 other glalaxies.

Back to Lois and Clark. Superman takes Lois on a romantic fly in order to get some. It didn't work. Shit, I would have done it even though I'm not gay. Anyhoo - Lois end up finding out about Lex plan, and gets caputred on his yacht. They are going to the middle of the Atlantic and use the crystals to create a new continent - a continent laced with Kryptonite which Luthor stole.

At one point, a thus beats Lois because she's trying to fax the coordinates of where they are and get help. At the point the thug is about to insert a rock into Lois' inner cranial membrane, a pinano lands on him. There were three people in the room. Lois, lying helplessly on the floor. The thug, lying with a piano on top of him. The kid, 5 years old, who just ploped the piano on the bad guy trying to off his mom. Guess who's the father?

Ok...enough spoilers. Go watch the movie. It's good.


Post a Comment

<< Home