Monday, May 12, 2008

Devil's Threeway

Note: If you don't know what a Devil's Threeway is (normally said whilst forming a fist, with the index and pinky fingers extended, like if you were at an Ozzy concert), look it up via Google, or find your latest Two And A Half Man episode.

I recall a few years ago when a friend of mine called me out for a beer. When I got there he was somewhat reclusive in a corner, sipping a beer with a near empty pitcher near by. I asked him what was up, how was it going, sat down, and ordered another pitch of beer with a new glass.

Noticing his demeanor, I asked what was wrong. He was a bit reticent with any information, so I thought I sit through until the beers worked up his courage.

Few pitchers of beers later, and he had this to say.

"I had a threesome about three weeks ago."

"That's great!" Said I.

But given the fact that the normal high five and congratulatory celebration didn't immediately occur after such statement, I realized there must have been a catch.

"Ummm..." I stammered, "Was it with two fat chicks?"


"Two ugly chicks?"


"Two fat and ugly chicks?"

No response, but he took a big gulp of beer, enough that I had to refill his glass.

"One fat, one ugly, both over the age of fifty who have given birth to enough kids and you didn't get to touch sidewall?"

That got a jilt.

"No." Said my friend. "It was with XXXXX." (The X's represent another friend's name, which is...a nother guy.)

True story.

This got me thinking as I was out talking about the Devil's Threeway with Rich and Matt over the weekend.

In what case would this be something to cross of a man's list before he meets his optimal end?

I mean, at the worst when two guys are doing a chick you are rubbing nutsack to nutsack, and at the least, you are looking at the naked sweating body of your buddy. Given that none of my friend's have a body hot enough that would even remotely turn me on, I have to say...

More beers please!!!


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