what not to do when you are the last customer of a cheap hooker

Below is a picture of my friend Brian. His actual name is Wen-Chih, but nobody can pronounce it properly, so we started to call him Brian. As you can see, he likes to put his mouth around things.

Lately he developed this rash on his chin, right below his bottom lip. It's red and somewhat scabbed over, kind of nasty like. When asked Brian says he doesn't know how it happened. One of those mysteries of life, he presumes. Some speculatated if he was involved in a drunken brawl and got punched so hard in the mouth he simply forgot what happened. Others think that cause less grandiose and more realistic - he got drunk, went to use the toilet, passed out en-route and knocked his lips on the rim of a piss covered john.

I, however, speculate otherwise. See, I think the rash is not from some blunt force trauma but rather something more viral, like herpes of the entire lower jaw. And this is how I think he got it.
Brian got drunk (see a theme here?) and horny. It's early in the morning, and he found a hooker outside of MLK and 3rd. It's her last trick before she turns in, and Brian is on his last $20 bucks. He paid for the lady, and during the course of drunken love-making, decides to eat her out. The combination of his saliva and the bodily fluids of the previous 20 tricks infused and combined into something much more sinister.

Brian denies this. He's also hit me a few times when I tell people we just met the story. Truth hurts.

I'm happy to report, however, after laying off the practice of mouth-to-crotch on cheap prostitutes, Brian's chin is healing fine. We'll see if he has a relapse...


now he wishes that ashtray is all he put his mouth around