Thursday, December 29, 2005

wipe, don't shake, after you urinate

I recollected how I first discovered the difference between boys and girls... I was 5 or 6 years old at the time. We had a group of friends who hung out on the back streets in rural Taipei. There is a rice paddy off to one side, some hills, and a pond where we catch tadpoles. One day the girl in the group needed to pee, and the boys wouldn't let her go home. So there, next to the pond, surrounded by prepubescent young men, I found out the first mystery of womanhood. They squat to piss. Subsequently, they also wipe, rather than shake. Interesting.

I recollected that event not be cause of latent pedophilia, but rather because I was cleaning my bathroom a few weeks ago. While on my hands and knees wiping the bowl that has served so faithfully, I realized that, geez, the floor, the bowl, even the cabinet next to the toilet smelled like...urine. A little investigation and a good soaping of the tip of my nose, I realized the culprit:

Men shake after peeing, and the act of shaking leave dew-like droplets of pee in a circumference measurable by the vigor of shake.

In this case, it was a wide circumference.

"How do I combat this vile act of soiling my bathroom and subsequently having to disinfect my taint?" Thought I long and hard. They I realized the solution was given to me as a young child!

Wipe! Yes, rather than shaking it off, wipe it off. This is illustrated below.

taking a lesson from female hygiene

Wiping not only reduce the urine particulates left on the unintended bathroom surfaces, it also is a sure way to make sure no hangers-on get absorbed by the underwear, or the occational jeans should I go commando. I'm a genius!

Penis wiping pic stolen from the site "Male Intermitten Self-Catheterization". But that's for another story.


Post a Comment

<< Home