Wednesday, March 29, 2006

midnight nose picking hunt in Beijing

We sure did get done some drinking in Beijing. The fact that we can find beers at almost $0.25 cents for a pint is incredible. However, I have never experienced a Ninja experience until my Mexican friend Oscar decided to embody one. Yes, Oscar is a Mexican, and he is a Ninja. I call him..."Minja!" His stealth is unmatched. He can blend in easily with any brownish color carpeting or furniture, and is nearly invisible at dusk. In Beijing, the particulate matters in the air is numerous enough that Oscar can step 1.5 meter away and completely blend himself in the haze. Amazing.

What is more amazing is that I have documented proof of this Minja. We were at a bar in Sanlitun, Beijing, celebrating Jason's birthday. We drank a little more than the white man can handle, and he went back to the hotel early. Well, the Minja wasn't quite done, and he made me, under the auspice of free beer, stay until nearly four in the morning. At which time, he decide that that best use of my camera is to film his intrepid advendture to stick it to the white man. In this case, Jason; at once our birthday boy and Oscar's roommate. Here is what transpired.

Oscar discovers 2 liter sized Heineken, and encourages alcohol comsuption.

Jason is impatient to have his turn to suckle from the very large Heineken bottle.

Strangely, Oscar finds that the plastic cover of the beer more elating than that of a live woman.

Alright, this is where we go for the money shot. The adventurer decides to hunt for the redneck October that is Jason. At four in the morning. Quietly slipping in the keycard, the door clicks, and we gain entry.

Ever quietly, the door creaks open.

Sheeeeh! We're hunting for whities...

Oh good, no one's up.

The intensity of the hunter.

Jason, our quarry, sleeping so deeply that he has no idea what Montezuma's Revenge is about to befall him.

If I recall correctly, Oscar can't stop himself from laughing. But he concentrates and ...power up!...

Jason is about to get a Dirty Sanchez.

Mission accomplished!


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