Wednesday, November 30, 2005

politcially correct team composition

I love the internet, even when it's full of porn. Sometimes I like to look at people in clothes, because it's nice to not always look at pictures full of flesh tones. It's also nice because I don't get the same warm tingles down below when I look at fully clad, and somewhat not attractive people.

This site then, is my cure. It takes business motivational stock photos and makes them absurd, which equals mildly funny. It's nice to look at the picture below and wonder which one knock the woman up. See, it's not always about porn. Sometimes, the internet is like a mystery novel.

only thing missing is a blind asian vetran

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

alien probe, japanese style

Sometimes it is just gosh awefully inconvenient to go to the doctors to get a colonoscopy when all you are interested is if you have some corn stuck on the edge of your large intestine that's turned into a mold colony. Digging around with your middle and fore fingers simply doesn't yeild any visual results. Enter the Japanese with a simple tool that lets you, with a trusted friend, to view deep into the bowels of Simply insert one end (the thin end) into the anal opening and push in deep. With a Maglite and a video recorder, you're all set to perform your in home ass-spelunking.

By the way, the three tellow Japanese Katakana says "A Na Ru" or Anal.

Read here for the whole story about how the guy also tested out vagina in a can.

for looking into those hard to stretch places

Monday, November 14, 2005

when you feel warm wet butt butter

Diarrhea is something that everyone should experience once in a lifetime. There is no experience more personal than that when you feel a hershey squirt in your undies when you try to let out an incognito fart, or the warm, full feeling deep down within the bowels of your colon when you try to concentrate on a very important contract. Here are some notable passages of the song of the same title:
  • you smell just like a hog, as you make some liquid log, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • you don't feel like a winner, when your butt blows out your dinner, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • you really want to shout as it keeps on dripping out, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • you're sitting on the pot, cuz it's coming out a lot, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • it's sounds just like a horn, as your butt pops out some corn, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • you're there in the huddle, and you're standing in a puddle, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • you just made a tackle, and it splattered out like spackle, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • you're going out for a pass, and it blows right out your ass, diarrhea, diarrhea
  • it's really flowing loose, like it's running through a goose, diarrhea, diarrhea
For more pilfered lyrics, see this link.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

the finest box of wine

Like a fine box of wine, only the cheap women would drink straigh from the tap. Then again, men are such predictable creatures that women follow in droves to satisfy their egos.

Yes, womenfolk. It is your fault. If your kind didn't encourage, our kind would not have have reacted. When we yell "Show your tits!" at Mardi Gra, it is you who reinforced our supposedly "bad" behavoir by showing your bare mammaries. And when I shouted "Show you box!" You were at fault for taking off your underwear and letting me video tape your fuzzies.

So women, engage in a little psychology, eh? Positive recinforcement in ways of public displays of tits, ass, and box isn't helping your in getting us to stop treating you like the sex objects you want us to see you as. Do your part, and I swear, within the limits of law, I shall do mine.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

one more reason to embrace mother earth

Who knew mother earth is responsible for organizing a group of beautiful women from around the world to stand and wave seductively in thong bikini's? If I'd known, I wouldn't have been pro oil drilling in the arctics all these years. And who knew that Miss Earth pagent actually have model-looking-like girls? I alway though tree and earth huggers are all hairly legged, bushy pits, and no make up. I need to seriously re-think my natural resource exploitative processes...

yeah hi, I'll take the blone in the pink, thanks

Tuesday, November 01, 2005


Well it is Halloween. People dress up as they wish. In some cases, people dress down as they would. Why not? I ask. Show yourself once in a while and tell the world that either you have the goods, or that your goods are so vile and nasty that someone would consider licking the sweat off that festering fat-gash a filthy fetish. Beauty, afterall, is in the eyes of the beholder. Sometimes it's not all by your control. But I think a nice set of tits on a blonde is always a welcome sight.

Yes...I'm work unfriendly. So fuck you too.