Saturday, April 29, 2006

it's mexijuana time

In an effort to ease border tension, Mexico has decided that it will begin efforts to make the rest of Mexico more like Tiajuana. The first step in making Mexico the Amsterdam of America is legalizing marijuana, cocaine, ecstacy, and heroin for personal use. In the 3-year plan proposed by Mexican President Vincente Fox, legalization of prostitution will be next, followed by the construction of casinos and cock fighting pits next to the US-Mexican border next to the border wall. "This will provide jobs for Mexican nationals. No longer will Mexicans be slaves for unappreciative US Strawberry Pickers' Union," says Mr. Fox. "We are natives of the Americas, it's about time we take note of the actions of our Native American friends."

Rush Limbaugh has called this move by the Mexican government "a good gesture and a good start", but also that "they need to legalize painkillers such OxyCotin and Hydrocodone immediately if they wish to attract the business of wealthy radio hosts."

Economists predict within 10 years, Mexico will create more than $500 billion pesos in revenue. But experts warn the revenue created will be spent on healthcare for US narcotic addicts, education for their kids, and annoying marches of protesters waving US flags in Cabo San Lucas.

viva las vegas mexico!

Friday, April 28, 2006

mexicanfication of United States

Amid all this controvery of a Spanish languaged US National Anthem, I thought I ought to have an opinion too. Too bad no one wants to listen to me.

I think we should also extend the respect to our neighbors to the North, the Canada-ians. They should Canada-fy The Star-Spangled Banner. It would probably sound something like this:

"O - Say can you see, eh?"

This would show that we, the true Americans, respect our lesser American neighbors and not have something as stupid sounding as "Nuestro Himno".

I mean, really, the song is produced by some British music guy. A Brit! Is the bloke still sore that a bunch of colonials bitch slapped the queen mother 200 years ago and now Tony Blair is George Bush's crack-ho?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

this site is like Chernobyl...

Can't believe I haven't updated my little corner of the innernit for so's like I've been too busy and completely forgotten about it. Everyday is busy busy busy. When am I going to get a break? Its getting harder to get out of bed every morning. I wonder if I contracted some kind of lethargic disease. I think I read somewhere there is a gene that flips when you reach your middle ages...

For some reason, I alway had a facination with the effects of nuclearn radiation on human flesh. Call me macabre, but I wallowed for several minutes as a captive audience when Discovery channel showed grotesque, mishappen limbs on barely recognizable human beings. So far, no superheros has emerged due to radiation.

Chernobyl...20 years later

this ought to happen to Iran

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

not your playboy bunny...but it is the size a sheep

I had something funny to say but I forgot what it was. Seems like breeders are bored with grinding on sheeps overlooking a cliff (so they back up harder) they want some bunnies. Since Playboy bunnies aren't likely to go for the rancher types (80 year old rich man in pajamas, however...) they decided to breed rabbits to the size of sheeps.

Amazing what man will do to spit in the eye of god and say, "We have improved on your lousy half-assed creations!"

lots of fur on that bunny

Sunday, April 02, 2006

mind of joe rogan?

I was sitting there, doing some work, and flipping between Comedy Central and NBC. Mind of Mencia was on Comedy Central, and some version of Fear Factor was on NBC. Mindlessly flipping between the two channels, and with my eyes blurred from staring at my laptop, I came to a realization.

Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan are two versions of the same person!

Mencia is the hefty Rogan when he isn't doing Fear Factor or UFC, and when Mencia looses all that weight from chasing down beaners on his show, he goes back to being Joe Rogan.

You be the judge.

different version of the same person?