Friday, July 28, 2006

30 hours of free time

School is almost done. I can't believe I've been doing this for two and a half years. Hell, I'm not even sure if it was worth it. I think I've learned a few things here and there, but the value is definitely in the people I have met and became friends with.

I don't think I buy into this concept of "networking" while in school. It seems so distant and impersonal. People toss it around like it's something of great value they have gained from this masters program. I'd like to be friends with people I go to school and work with, and from there, pursue future opportunities. I think anyone who "networked" with me will find that the connection only lasts as much as their sincerity. Pretentious unreal people...sigh.

Looks like after the exit project, I'll be recovering about 30 hours of free time a week. Some of that will go to sleeping. Not sure what to do with the rest. Everyone is buzzing about finding jobs, starting a business, investing, etc. etc. etc. I think I'll take a month to rest my brain, and then look for opportunities that interest me and devote my time to it.

It'll be fun. Will I stay where I am? Will I take a new job elsewhere? Will I partner with someone to do business? Investment? Import and export? I think I will have to be something that I enjoy doing. Part of the fun will be exploring what it is I really want to do.

So much idle time...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

panda express

Chengdu, as with all of China, is hot in the summer. It's something like 34 degrees celcius, or 94 degrees fahrenheit, with 100% humidity. The sun blazes mercilessly from above and without air coniditioning, only idiot tourists would want to walk around up and own hill to see ovresized black and white racoons.

Which is exactly what we did.

The mission - take a cab to the Chengdu Panda Reserve, beeline to the panda enclosure, take some pictures, then jump back onto the air conditioned cab and be back in the hotel.

On the way, the cabbie told me that two years ago a worker was caught killing a panda. He ate the meat with his friends and tried to sell the fur in the black market. Given that in China, if you kill someone via vehicular manslaughter you are only require to pay $800,000RMB (US$100,000), the Panda is worth far more than a mere human life at well more than US millions of dollars each. That guy didn't live very long after being caught.

I wonder what Panda meat tastes like?

They are cuddly aminals. Their habitat is air conditioned. Where I was standing, I can only look upon the panda with envy. My shirt is soaked with seat. I knew it would be hot, so after I applied my antiperspirant under my arms, I also gave it a good go around on my neck, chest, and between the thighs. There is nothing worse than walking around with ballsacks slimy with sweat. It's like women walking around on their periods without a tampond or pads.

Hmmm... I wondered in such hot occations, I should just have lined my pants with pads... Maybe that's a new market. Adult crotch sweat absorbing underwear. I should look into that...

Workers were hauling in block of ice, which the pandas eagerly hopped onboard.

With somewhere between 1000 and 2000 of these animals left, they are the national treasure of China. Upkeep of one of these animals top over a milliion US dollars. There goes my wish to keep one as a pet.

Of course, breeding giant panda's isn't easy I hear. The ones China lent to the US didn't breed for years. There were some joke about the Chinese giving us gay pandas.

I didn't get to see how they do it, but here is picture prominently displayed in the Panda Reserver on the Panda Style of Kama Sutra.

It's like doggie stye, only bigger. And in black and white.

They also do artificial insemination. And for that I have two action photos.

The pic to the left is my finger, being used as a forecep in the aide of inseminating the giant panda, thus ensureing continued breeding.

The pic to the right is that same finger going into Jane's mouth for disinfecting. She has a mouthful of BaiJu (100 proof Chinese liquor).

When I was on the internet, I read that you can hold the panda cubs and take pictures for RMB 400, or 50 bucks. When I got to Chengdu, I was told this price has gone up. It's now RMB 800, or US $100. When I got to the room where you can actually hold the panda cub, I was informed this price is now RMB 1200, or US $150.

Now I can't help but wonder if the price wasn't inflated because I was with gringos. I'm sure I'd get a "looking Chinese discount".

Whee... It's nice to be blessed with A/C.

Monday, July 17, 2006

24 hours to Shenzhen

Gruelling... From start to finish, it took me 24 hours to get to Shenzhen. At least the hotel I'm staying is where Bill Clinton stayed when he came to visit. Hmm... I better check the sheets for any Lewinsky's.

Shenzhen is humid. It's like dunking myself into an overheated hottub and then walking into a sauna. Sweat beads like pearls on my skin, only without the glamour. I do not look forward to the next week where I'll be outside doing research. I can imagine the sunstroke waiting to happen.

Too tired to think coherently. Time to fall asleep to Cantonese soap opera.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

the next person that wipes his behind

Pressure builds. At some point, pressure becomes more than one could bear and demands release. At the proper place, such release can be ecstatic on the order of biblical joy. Such euphoria often stimulates the mind, giving clarity of thought not attributed to normal everyday life.

It is at such a moment, sitting on the toilet at work, I had such a thought.

I glanced to my left and noticed the toilet paper, swaying harmlessly in a slight breeze caused by the ventilation systems desperate attempt to eliminate the gaseous equivalent of last night's brocoli-cheddar-beef. It had a crinkle where the last person tore it off. Staring at the crinkle, I began to wonder.

The last person must have used his hand to grab a wad of toilet paper and tear it off. He (there is no chance of that person being a she) then used that paper to make a last application, thus ensuring the orifice is clean. In other words, one can say that where the crinkle occurred is where the last guy has come in contact with his anus, through his hand.

So when I reach over to the same roll of toilet paper, I essentially use that edge of paper and apply to the dirtiest physical part of my body. In an indirect manner, it's my fecal lined ass rubbing on the last guys just cleanse rectum.

Whatever momentary feeling of eroticism quickly passed as the next wave built, and exploded in to the bowl.

I wonder what will the next person who sit here think?

googling santorum

On advice from Jon Stewart, I Googled for Santorum, the last name of U.S. Senator Rick Santorum. Here is what I got.


1. The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex. 2. Senator Rick Santorum.

That's a new word of the day.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

inching toward a master degree

This is it. It is the last week of school. I am one Saturday class, and one exit project away from my master degree in International Management. I have had hair, lost those hair, and got back my hair in the three year struggle to balance work, life, and school. I have gone through 5 shades of farmers tan. Sold my truck, bought and given away my Mustang, and now drive a wholly impractical roadster with 1.5 cubic foot of trunk space. Travelled to Asia 6 times, staying anywhere from .5 star to 5 star hotels. Got pampered, got misplaced, got found. It has been a journey full of stories, friends, interesting places, and adventures. Opened my mind to new concepts, and made me understand a bit more of my personal nuances. Seen intereting people, got to know them, and subsequently decided they were mistakes. Some friends I kept, some never became friends. In all, I gained more in life than I probably will ever fully comprehend. While I'll be sad to see it all go away, I welcome the extra time I will soon have. Too often have I used the excuse of "homework" and "study" and missed out what is really important. Too long have I been away from those who needed me by their side. A new dawn is rising, soon. Will it be a new me?

Monday, July 10, 2006

my HDTV is almost like...real

Bought a 58 inch HDTV and hooked it up to HD cable just in time for the final games of World Cup soccer. Bunch of people came to my house and watched the German vs. Italy game on the Fourth of July. We rooted for Italy.

Juey asked me, "What are you going to do for the Fourth?"

"Oh I'm going to stay home and watch the fireworks." Said I, "On my HDTV, it's like...real life."

Now it has become a running joke that I will simply stay home, and watch almost real life on my HDTV.

Of course, I try, at every moment, to remind everyone that, on my HDTV, I did not only see Zidane headbutt into Materazzi's chest. I saw the anger. I could see the pain. In fact, I and those with me witnessed not only the disgrace of the headbutt by one of most celebrated soccer player, we saw the shockwave eminating from Marco Materazzi's chest.

That, my friends, is the clarity of HDTV.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

body wash is not hair gel

I have kept my head shaved for about a year now. A month ago I finally decided to grow it back. This morning, looking in the mirror after showering, I wondered if I can spike my now inch long hair.

Looking down, I saw a bottle of Axe gel. I can see cool blue bubbles through its translucent plastic body. Picking it up, I put a dollop in my hand, and rubbed it into my hair. It didn't spike very well. Then again, it's been a year since I used any hair products.

After a long day of classes and watching France beating down a very flaccid Brazil, I figure I take another shower before I go out. I wet my hair and it immediately foamed up. Hmmm... Gel doesn't react with water this way...does it?

I get done taking a shower, pickup my bottle of gel, and put it in my hair. Sitting there, I kept wondering why did my gel bubble with water? It's never done that before...

I just picked the bottle and took a good look at it. It's Axe Shower Gel. Nice... I've been running around with soap in my hair. And I'm getting my master degree in 2 weeks?!?!